John W. McCain
Mr. McCain has released his plans for health care in America! Please review his plan here presents his successor with a birthday cake, August 29, 2005. There's nothing incompetent about remembering your friend's birthday!]] |John McCain}} Dr. Colbert No Longer Hates Mr. McCain At first, Dr. Colbert hated John McCain. He was never really sure why, but he did. And he hated him with gusto. Then, something changed and now Stephen doesn't hate John McCain so much any more. "Fearing Liberals" is there nothing you can't do? McCain and George Allen BFF McCain's Virility Senator McCain may be a very old man, but he still has what it takes to charm the ladies! Naturally, no legitimate news outfit is running the story, but the liberal media, lead by The New York Times, has speculated that the relationship is non-sexual, claiming that Mr. McCain is not as uncorrupted as he says he is on his Straight Talk Express. Come on, liberals! He said it aboard the Straight Talk Express!!! Why don't you just believe him? McCain's Heroism Against His Gook Captors In Communist Korea When John McCain returned from Vietnam after 5 1/2 years without healthcare, he returned alone. His wife was so vain and power hungry that she was busily having an affair with some young buck, heir of a brewer that he was forced to divorce her. His shame about his first marriage haunts him to this day, that he does not discuss it with reporters, even off the record. Arianna Huffington said Iraq is McCain's viagra. Stephen said the warning on the bottle would be: If your erection lasts for more than 100 years, pull out . McCain's Friends * Thomas Loeffler * Doug Goodyear * Doug Davenport * Eric Burgeson * Craig Shirley * Charlie Black * Vicki Iseman * Donald Diamond * Jack Abramoff * Charles Keating McCain's Leadership! McCain Policy Proposals * Reform of the UN called 'League of Democracies' McCain's Environmental Loving McCain Factoids * John is very superstitious, please click here to see a list of things he is superstitious about. * doesn't plaster his makeup on like a trollophttp://wonkette.com/376849/mccain-called-his-wife-c+word * his white grandmother may be Eve *McCain is a political bisexual who goes both ways in DC. *McCain is born in the Panama Canal Zone, which is not America. *McCain's middle name is retirement home. *John McCain is the only Scotch and or Irish Senator from Arizona. *He is a Veteran and Ex-POW of the Vietnam War. *McCain has recently announced on Late Night Television that he will run for President in 2008. *McCain has recently seen the light and reversed his long held policy on Women's rights. *Previously supported The GWOT, but now feels that the soldiers lives are being wasted. However, he still supports the war. *John McCain supports the troop surge. *More importantly, he supports The Greatest President Ever. *Has an evil former Secretary of State, Lawrence Eagleburger, endorsing him for President. *Stephen feels McCain's wife is a hottie. *McCain Supports The Baby Jesus! *According to his campaign website, John McCain won the first Republican Candidates Debate. *He has an illegitimate black baby. *His nomination will prompt the The Suicide Pact of 08‎. The Great Liberal High Crime Against McCain In March 2007, the Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy used their Satanic powers to inflict damage on McCain's MySpace profile.Healy, Kieran. (2007). McCain Space. Crooked Timber. Although the liberals claimed that no laws were broken in the process, but as any Real American knows, the liberals have broken the highest law of all — the law against treason. Acting Career In addition to being a born-again Republican and a "good friend" of the Greatest President Ever, McCain is also celebrated actor. Watch out Fred Thompson, that Oscar belongs to Johnny-boy! Filmography * Die Hard * Die Hard 2 * Die Hard With a Campaign * Bears in a Submarine * Live Republican or Die Hard References See Also * What's in McCain's medical records? * Cindy McCain Internets Tubes * McCain's Banking Expertise * McCain's Voting Expertise McCain-mentum * John McCain at Campaigns Wikia * John McCain's 2008 Presidential PR Site